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Family Health Magazine
ADOLESCENT HEALTH

Bullying
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In Canada, bullying happens every seven minutes on a playground and every 25 minutes in the classroom. It takes many forms. Bullying may be verbal, such as name calling, using threats, or saying bad things behind another’s back. It can also be physical, such as pushing or punching. It may involve relationships, such as leaving someone out of a game, or recruiting support from other children. Finally bullying may involve extortion, such as stealing money or toys. In any form, the goal of bullying is to enforce power through aggression.

Bullying changes with age. School playground bullying may progress to sexual harassment, gang violence, child abuse, or workplace harassment. It can even become elder abuse. With repeated bullying, victims become increasingly anxious and fearful as the bully’s power and control become established. Bullying may be more common than you think. A Canadian survey of 4,743 children in grades one through eight reported the following:

• Six per cent of children admitted bullying others ‘more than once or twice’ in the previous six weeks.
• 15 per cent reported being victimized during the same time period.
• Two per cent said they both bullied and were victimized.

Clearly there is no single type of bully. Bullies can be male or female and are equally affected whether bully, bystander, or victim. Boys tend to be more physical, while girls bully in indirect ways such as excluding and gossiping. In children ages four to ten, aggression is mainly confined to same-sex peers, whereas those aged 11 to 18 expand aggression to include opposite-sex peers.

Younger children experience more direct bullying, including the physical, while older children experience more indirect bullying. In addition, 11 to 12-year-old students report bullying others more than did younger or older student groups.

Bullies tend to be assertive and easily provoked, and are often hyperactive, impulsive and disruptive. They are attracted to situations with aggressive content, and enjoy aggression. Bullies show little remorse or regret about their actions, and lack empathy or understanding of their victims.

Advice for parents on how to help your child

• As a parent, you are responsible to communicate to your child that bullying is not just a normal part of growing up!
• Children may believe that as long as they are not the bully, they are not hurting anyone. However, bystanders play a vital role since they have the power to help stop the bullying! When peers intervene, bullying halts within ten seconds most of the time.

If your child is a bystander, teach how to reduce conflict

• Recognize bullying in its various forms (including physical or verbal).
• Speak up! Tell the bully that he or she is wrong.
• Don’t join and don’t fight the bully!
• Walk away from the situation and encourage other kids to do the same.
• Get help. Tell a teacher, parent, friend, or other grown-up. Reporting bullying is not tattling. (If your child is scared of the bully, then do not let the bully know about the reporting.)
• Keep track of places where bullying occurs. If you tell an adult, these areas will be watched more closely.
• Be a friend to the kid being bullied.

Recognizing your child may be a victim of bullying

Your child may be a victim of bullying if he or she is having trouble sleeping or wets the bed at night. There may be complaints of tummy aches or headaches, a drop in appetite or vomiting. Your child may cry before or after school, and may feel unwell before school events. There may not be any interest in social events that include other students. At school, your child may frequently visit the school nurse or office, and may ask to contact a parent in order to leave school. Your child may show less success in school, while schoolwork may be missing or incomplete. A drop in self-esteem may be apparent. You may find unexplained broken or lost personal belongings, as well as injuries and stories that don’t make sense. Your child may begin to act out aggression at home, showing a striking change in attitude, dress, or habits.

If you suspect bullying is taking place, it is vital that you talk with your child about it. Offer a listening ear and support for your child. You can decide together on a plan of action about how to deal with the bully and the bullying.

Get involved with your child’s school and talk to other parents. Working as a volunteer at school gives you a first-hand opportunity to see how your child interacts with others. Document everything that happens and take photos if you observe physical or material damage. Meet with your child's school administrators to make sure action has been taken to remedy bullying. Remember, your child is not alone. By reporting and taking action on bullying, you help everyone.